Remember you will never even get to the Xs and Os if your kids don't listen

to you or trust you. You have to earn the right to be heard and develop trust.

Remember kids don't care what YOU know until they know you care about

them. Sure you can control kids with a few process tricks, but what happens

with you turn your back or can't be there to control the kids? How do you get

kids to "buy in?" How do you get kids to self motivate? I'm not talking about

fire up speeches that wear off in 20 seconds, I'm talking about getting kids

to WANT to be their best, to WANT to outwork the competition?
 

You don't have to remake yourself into some kind of sports psychologist, but

you can take some time to find out a few concepts and techniques to help bring

your team together and play selflessly to their fullest potential. Many of us were

not coached well as kids or in High School, we never saw or have been taught

how to bring groups together or to get people to self motivate.

 
The first step as I mentioned is to earn the right to be heard. Gone are the days

where most kids give a coach their undivided attention and follow coach blindly.

Certainly you communicate high standards and hold kids accountable, but how

do you clear that first hurdle? We like to divide all of our teams into "mini-teams"

of 5 players each. Player is assigned based on position, those kids align togethe

r in warm ups, pre-practice and most drills. A coach is assigned to that group, the

coach isn't with them for 100% of practice, but during warm ups he gives each player

some skin, calls them by name and engages each eye to eye in a short conversation.

He let's the player know he is glad to see them and makes segues to events of the

last or this practice. As the head coach I make sure and make eye contact with

every one of my players daily and to call them by first name. We never use tape

on helmets, I care enough about my kids to memorize their names the first week

of practice. Just think about how important you would feel if after a week on a new

job, your new boss didn't know your name? By seasons end I will know their parents

names as well. All it takes is a commitment and some time.
 

When I had my software development company, I knew all 180 employees and their

spouses names and most of them were from India and had very long and difficult names.

Learning them was a chore, but in an industry that had over 40% turnover every year in

staff, 7 years after I started the company, 9 of my original 10 people were still with me.

I asked some of these guys why they stuck around, almost to a man, they said "because

you showed us early on that you cared. You remembered my name, where I was from,

what I liked to do and how I met my wife. She liked you because you remembered and

called her by name and sent us baby gifts when both of our kids were born."

On the football field we build trust, which in turn helps the kids buy-in to the approach you

are taking with your team. If kids trust you, they will listen to you and often times run through

walls for you. They will rely on your instruction rather than their own immature instincts. How

do you develop trust? By caring, by letting players find more out about you. We are using

Turner Gills share process now, you can see that on my blog.

We build up that "emotional bank account" Steven Covey talks about early and often

so when it comes time to make a withdrawal, it doesn't destroy the relationship.

                                                                                                                          
Once you've earned the right to be heard and developed trust, now what? How do

you impart selflessness, teamwork, commitment, humility and perseverance to your

team? We use an internet based system that we impart during our water breaks called

"Foundations." There are others out there that are good or you can even come up

with your own.
 

We can't help you discover all the answers to this issue in one article, but hopefully it

will put a bug in your ear about doing something in the off-season to help you get better

about bringing this about on your team. What is your game plan?

 
Just think about this; is it easier to get a 5.5 forty yard dash kid to run a 4.6 or to get a player

that isn't self motivated to get self motivated? You can't change every player, but it is our

responsibility as coaches to help kids come together and to self-motivate. If we aren't going

to do it, who is? Why not get better at it and develop a game plan rather than hoping it

happens? It's the difference between great seasons and failure seasons for many if not

most youth football teams.


Coach Dave
www.winningyouthfootball.com